


Always Will Be Here

by KrystalM



Series: Remain [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insecure Jim Kirk, Insecurity, M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 13:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8893144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystalM/pseuds/KrystalM
Summary: Jim knew it was irrational to fear that what happened almost ten years ago might happen again now. When Jim realises it's been exactly three years since Spock and he are together, old irrational fear comes crawling back. Fear that they might end up just like how they ended up the last time they dated. This time, Spock isn't letting him run away like he did years ago. This time, they'll last.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine.  
> A/N: Ahhhhh--what? I just wanted to write a small sequel for this story. Haha. It just got me thinking of what happens to Jim if they happened to last exactly 3 years again, so this happened. Hope you guys like it! I shall try and update the Spock's POV soon. Until then, enjoy this short piece and let me know what you guys thought! -Krystal

 

 

Jim stared at the date at the far right corner of his PADD. He bit his inner cheek, motionlessly. The date was just staring right back at him. 

 

“Captain?”

 

Jim looked up from his PADD to look at Uhura, who was sitting in front of him, looking at him with a question in her eyes. He cleared his throat and placed his PADD next to his tray of food. 

 

“Yeah?” Jim asked, smiling at his friend. 

 

“Are you alright?” Uhura asked, her eyebrows high on her forehead. Jim blinked once and then twice before her question registered in his head. 

 

“Me?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

 

Uhura kept quiet as she looked at him closely, as if she was trying to dissect him. Jim shifted in his seat before he cleared his throat. “What is it, Uhura?” he asked finally. There was clearly something in her eyes and it was better to get the question out of the way. 

 

“You don’t look so good,” she said. “You look pale. Are you alright?”

 

Jim felt the sudden bubbles of nervousness and panic thrumming through his veins. 

 

“Yeah, yeah,” he said as he licked his suddenly dried lips. “I’m fine. Hah, why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Before Uhura could open her mouth and say anything else, Jim had stood up and gathered his stuff. “I gotta go, I’ll see you soon.” With that he walked away from the table and disposed of his tray. Then, he walked out of the mess hall and down the hallways, looking his PADD again. 

 

The irrational fear gripped tight in his mind and no matter how much he tried to let go of that fear, it came back crawling to him and it latched its claw in his mind again. The slight drums of his quickened heartbeat made him feel jittery and itchy underneath his skin. 

 

He was restless. He was slightly panicked. 

 

He couldn’t breathe properly. 

 

God, he was a mess. 

 

He bit his bottom lip as he looked back at the date on the PADD. The date haunted him, had always haunted him. It was mocking him and he stopped walking abruptly as the fear finally got a hold tight of his heart and started to dig into his doubts. It was almost malicious how the dark parts of his thoughts relished on his doubts and insecurities. It was like another part of him was at war with himself that believed everything would be fine. 

 

He shook his head as he continued his walk down the hallway, entering the turbo lift. He stopped at the entrance of the turbo lift however when his eyes landed on the familiar regulation boots. He looked up and noticed it belonged to Spock, who was already inside the lift, hands behind his back and stance relaxed.

 

Spock caught his eyes and steadily kept his eyes on Jim. “Uh,” Jim started as he took a small step back. It was barely noticeable to anyone, but Spock still narrowed his eyes at the blond-haired man anyway. Jim cursed in his head as his flight and fight instincts took over. 

 

“Are you getting on, Captain?” Spock asked. Jim wanted to wait for an empty lift but he knew Spock had already begun suspecting his weird behaviour. It would only serve more suspicion if he avoided him blatantly like this, so he just smiled weakly and got in. 

 

He stood as far as he could from Spock, his shoulders touching the other side of the turbo lift. His heart was ringing loudly in his chest and he could feel himself shaking slightly as the fears once again doused him. The doors opened to the familiar hallway leading to his quarters and he immediately fled from the lift. 

 

Not even sparing Spock a glance, he rushed to his quarters and walked in. Once the doors closed, Jim sighed in relief and slumped his back against it. His mind was messy and he wanted nothing more but to lay down on his bed and wait this day to end. 

 

However, Jim just slid down to the floor and tossed the PADD lightly next to him. He brought his knees against his chest and placed his head in between them. He just felt horrible today. He felt guilty. 

 

There were tears in his eyes and he wanted to weep and cry. He didn’t know why he felt this way but he did. 

 

Just then the doors to his quarters chimed. He was in no mood to talk to anybody so he didn’t answer. But thechiming didn’t stop and reluctantly, Jim stood up and rubbed his wet eyes, making sure he looked presentable. He then commanded the doors to open up and he took a cautious step back when he noticed it was Spock. 

 

Spock looked at Jim before he took a few steps inside the quarters. The doors closed, cloaking both of them in the luminous lights. They stood in front of each other, nobody spoke. Jim felt the panic started to heighten his senses. He closed his eyes for a moment before he decided he needed to get out of here. The bathroom called to him and he decided to head there.

 

But just as he turned around and tried to walk to the bathroom, a hand grabbed his right wrist and halted him. 

 

“Jim,” Spock started. “Jim, is something the matter?”

 

Jim closed his eyes as his shoulders shook from the cold fear that was gripping him inside. “I’m fine,” he said as steadily as he could. “Let me go.”

 

Spock’s grip on his wrist tightened. Jim was about to protest when he felt Spock tugging him gently, asking him non-verbally to turn around. The blond-haired man however refused to do that as he pulled at his wrist harshly. “Spock, let me go. I need to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Jim, you are not feeling alright,” Spock said and Jim could hear the tinted worry in his voice. “I can feel high levels of anxiety. Jim, will you please look at me?”

 

Jim shook his head as he rubbed his face with his free hand, his eyes feeling wet again. “Let me go,” Jim said, his voice soft and pleading. “ _Please_.”

 

Spock finally let him go and Jim walked to the bathroom, letting the door close behind him as he breathed in shakily. He knew he was being irrational. He knew he was being childish. He should be over this now but he was just so scared. He didn’t want anything to end.

 

He couldn’t help but to laugh to himself bitterly. He didn’t want to become another failure. He couldn’t afford for that to happen now. Not now. 

 

Spock didn’t come looking for him and Jim thanked him silently for that. He walked to the sink and looked at the mirror, wincing at how red his eyes were and how puffy his face was. He hadn’t slept last night, not even a wink, his mind kept him on edge. Now, he looked worse for wear. 

 

He rubbed his face as he collected his breath. He knew he needed to talk to the half-Vulcan. He needed to talk it out long and loud. He needed to hear Spock say some things to calm his rapidly beating heart that was currently fluttering in panic. 

 

After a few minutes, he took in a deep breath and nodded to himself. Jim slowly walked out of the bathroom. Spock was already standing near his bed, already waiting for him. He looked at the blond-haired man and just watched him cautiously as Jim neared him. 

 

“Jim?” Spock said, his voice unsure. 

 

“I,” Jim began. After a beat of silence, he whispered, “ _I’m scared_.”

 

That was all he could say before he choked in his tears. They were falling from his eyes as he sat at the edge of his bed and placed his face in his hands. He was terrified. He knew what date it was today. How could he forget? 

 

And what this day had done to him had tore out all rationality from his mind. It was like he was back to that teenager who nobody dared to love or pay attention to. The fear of being lonely again struck him hard and he just shivered at the thought of it. Not after all this time—not after all he had felt. Not after he had felt loved. 

 

“Jim,” Spock said as he felt him sitting next to him. “Jim, what is the matter?”

 

“Do you know what date it is today?” Jim asked as he looked at Spock, trying his best to rub his eyes from the tears but it was futile. Spock only looked at him blankly and he tilted his head to the side a bit in slight confusion. Jim could feel the bubbles of irritation in him as he stood up and started to pace. 

 

“It’s the day we broke up, Spock, ten years ago,” Jim started as he stopped in front of Spock. “Spock, it’s the day we broke up, exactly after three years, ten years ago.”

 

Spock didn’t say anything. It was like he was letting the words sink. Jim however couldn’t stand still, fidgeting at the silence.

 

Spock watched him carefully before he gently placed his hands against Jim’s waist and tugged him down. Jim stumbled a bit before he placed both of his legs at each side of Spock’s waist, his hands placed on the half-Vulcan’s shoulders. He hugged Jim tight then, his right hand cradling Jim’s head softly. 

 

“I remember,” Spock said, his voice kind. “I remember it. How could I not? But Jim, why are you reacting in such a way of this date when you have shown no agitation towards it these past few years?”

 

Spock didn’t sound mean. He sounded curious and maybe even sad. 

 

Jim shuddered out his breath as he buried his face against Spock’s shoulder, tightening his hug. “Yesterday was the day we got together after so long, Spock. It’s exactly three years since we’ve got together again. I—We broke up after three years the last time on this very date and—Spock, I know I sound stupid but…I just— _I don’t want to lose you again_.”

 

Spock continued to hug him, touch him like he was just a five-year-old child. Jim didn't know that Spock could be this gentle but he relished in the touches and cooler warmth. It cooled down the panic. “You will not lose me,” Spock said as he pulled Jim away from his embrace, still keeping most of them touching. 

 

He looked at Jim in the eyes and brought the hand that was in his hair gently to his cheek, rubbing away the tears. The other hand on his waist tightened and Spock—he quirked his lips in a smile. A genuine smile that he rarely showed. Jim’s eyes widened as the tears finally stopped. His breath hitched as he placed his hands on the half-Vulcan’s face. 

 

He traced the smile with his thumb and felt the horrible fear slowly dissipating. “You will not be without me. I will never let you go, not anymore. I promise you, Jim, I will never let you leave me.”

 

Jim couldn’t help but to smile brokenly. “I’m scared one day I might screw things up again. I’ll hurt you again. I’ll doubt you again. I don’t want to feel that way ever again. I don’t want to feel like I have to compete with someone or anyone for your attention. I don’t want to feel like I have to let you go again.”

 

Spock’s eyes narrowed a bit. “Jim,” he started. “You will listen to me when I say, you will never have to compete for may attention. You will never have to feel like you are losing me. I will never hurt you. I will never make you feel worthless. I will never make you feel like you are not important to me.”

 

Jim watched the seriousness and sincerity in Spock’s eyes. “You won’t leave me? You won’t let me walk away?”

 

“I will not,” Spock said as he brushed the blonde hair from Jim’s face. “I will not let you make the same mistake again.”

 

“Will you come for me?” Jim asked finally, his voice hushed. “Will you come looking for me when I run away scared?”

 

“I will,” Spock said without hesitation. “But you will never have a reason to run away from me for I cherish thee more than I cherished anything, including myself. You are my forever. You are ‘it’ to me, Jim. There will never be anyone else above you. I promise you, you will never have a reason to fear my love for you will die.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jim said as his eyes watered again. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for doubting you. I’m sorry for everything. I’m so sorry—”

 

Spock leaned up and kissed him then, cutting him off. He pulled Jim closer and kissed him, angling his head just a bit before he licked his bottom lip, prying open the blond’s lips and delving into his mouth. Jim keened in the kiss and kissed him back, locking his arms around the half-Vulcan’s neck and bringing his entire body closer to his. 

 

“I love you,” Spock said when they broke apart. “I shall forever love you. Never any less, maybe more but never less.”

 

Jim smiled widely then as he chuckled wetly. “I love you too,” Jim said as he rubbed his face. “God, I sound like a crybaby.” Jim was about to crawl away from his lap but Spock held him against him. Jim’s cheeks reddened at that and raised his eyebrows. 

 

“If you have any doubts,” Spock said. “You must come to me. You must talk to me. Do not let yourself wallow in any misconception. I do not like seeing you upset, ashayam.”

 

Jim grinned before he sighed. “Alright,” he said before he leaned in closer. “I was just—scared I guess. All my fears just—it was suddenly there the minute I realised what date it was.”

 

“We were different from when we were ten years ago,” Spock said. “We are stronger.”

 

Jim felt his heart skipping a beat as he nodded. “Yeah,” he said as he touches Spock’s hair, running his fingers through the jet black strands. “I see that now. You should smile often. It looks nice.”

 

“Only for you,” Spock said as he kissed Jim once more, chaste. “Only ever for you.”

 

“Hey,” Jim started. “Since when did you become such a romantic?”

 

Spock huffed out his breath before he released Jim. The blond-haired man stood up from Spock’s lap and smiled, the fear now was gone and replaced was the steady warmth. “I do not know what you mean,” Spock said as he stood up. Jim chuckled before he rolled his eyes. 

 

“I love you,” Jim said and Spock glanced at him and smiled once again, taking the blond-haired man’s breath away. 

 

“I love you too.”

 

His heart was warm and the once panic thrums in his vein was now replaced with the thrum of affection as he grinned brightly at the half-Vulcan. 

 

Yeah, Spock was right. 

 

They were stronger than they had ever been and it wasn’t going to end soon. 

 

Jim took Spock’s hand and intertwined their fingers tight. Spock squeezed their fingers, his eyes filled with affection. 

 

Three years and more, they were together forever. 

 

 


End file.
